Shower Etiquette + Inspiration

While living in New York is teaching me all kinds of interesting differences between Northern and Southern weddings, I believe this particular etiquette case doesn't change based on where you live. I'm often asked by brides with very small weddings if they can invite someone to a shower that they aren't inviting to a wedding. My answer is always no. Here is a write up on Southern Weddings with backup from the beloved Emily Post regarding this very issue.

Who's Invited to the Bridal Shower by Emily at Southern Weddings

Here is what's inspiring me lately!

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Happy Planning!

Congratulations Chrissy and Seth

Congratulations to my sweet friends, Chrissy and Seth, who got engaged last night! I'm so happy for you both. I'm sure you can't wait for the planning, dress appointments, cake tastings and of course the big day. 


For all the gentlemen out there who are about to pop the question you'll want to check out these tips from Peter Post of The Emily Post Institute.

Day 10: Make a Plan

Decide on the who, what, when, where and why of how you will ask her to marry you. A public place or a private setting? First thing in the morning or late at night? Think about what suits your personalities and relationship. Keep in mind, this is a story she will be telling for the rest of her life and you want her to be proud to tell it. But at the same time, the more complex a plan you concoct, the more difficult to pull off.

Day 9: The Ring

You’ve got two options here: pick the ring you know she’ll love or go with something basic and let her choose the setting and band once she’s said yes. If you go with the latter, remember that this is not an insult to your jewelry selection capabilities. You want to make sure it’s the ring she wants.

Day 8: To Ask or Not to Ask - Permission from Her Dad

Individual circumstances determine whether you should ask permission from her father, either alone or with your intended, or if you should simply announce your plans together. Be respectful of the culture and traditions of your future wife’s family. This will help you decide the most appropriate course of action.

Day 7: Schedule Her In

Don’t forget to make plans with her for the big day. It would be pretty embarrassing to go through all this effort and then have her tell you “I’m not available that night, I have yoga class till 8:30 p.m.”

Day 6: Dress

Figure out what you’re going to wear. Make sure it’s clean and pressed. Shoes polished. Hole-free socks. Get a haircut. Shave. You want to look and feel your best.

Day 5: Flowers

There’s only one choice: red roses. Lots and lots of red roses. And remember, even if you think flowers don’t matter, they do.

Day 4: Food

To cook or go out? Don’t cook. Think about it. You want to focus on her, not on cooking. Make a reservation at the nicest restaurant you can afford. Try not to be a nervous wreck, hopefully you’ll enjoy the meal. If you’re planning to pop the question there, ask the maitre d' for a quiet table.

Day 3: Wine

This is clearly a champagne occasion. Pop the question early and then order a bottle to celebrate. You can even call ahead and arrange to have the sommelier bring the champagne out once you’ve proposed.

Day 2: Practice

Think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Decide if you’re a down-on-one-knee kind of guy. Visualize what’s going to happen. You’ve established a plan for the dinner, now think about how you’re going to actually pull this off. Make sure you know how to get to where you are going. Remember these could be some of the most important words she hears from you, so make them memorable.

Day 1: Just Do It!

Give yourself time to get ready. Don’t forget the ring. Do plan on having a night the two of you will always remember. Look her in the eye and speak from the heart. Enjoy the moment!


Happy Planning!


Stephanie

Etiquette Lessons Learned

Emily Post is an institution. I'm a rule follower so I like her very much. I like her even more because the rules of etiquette she has deemed appropriate come from the heart. I once read that "etiquette is simply polite kindnesses." (Side note: if you know where that quote came from please let me know. I read it somewhere a decade or so ago and would love to know where it came from.) I believe that meaning whole-heartedly.


That being said, I'm learning how to take correction when it is needed. In doing a little poking around on Emily Post's Web site, I came across an article called, Wedding E-mail Do's and Don'ts. It totally put me in my place and made me realize that with new times, new rules must be born. You can still follow the theme of "polite kindnesses" and incorporate e-mail.

From the article...
E-mail No's:
-Wedding invitations
-Thank you notes
-When discussing personal or thorny issues.
-When the groundwork hasn't been properly laid.


E-mail Go's:
-"Save the Date" notices.
-Wedding invitation replies.
-Wedding announcements.
-Invitations to informal or casual engagement parties, bridal showers, and other pre-wedding get-togethers.
-Information on lodging, etc.
-Wedding updates.


With so much technology, the family of Emily Post has successfully honored traditional views on etiquette while still supporting and giving guidance on how to utilze all the new ways of communicating with friends and loved ones. May all your wedding moments be full of polite kindnesses and not resemble the modern day bridezillas.


Happy Planning!


Stephanie